Disclaimer: If you or someone you love is in imminent danger, call 911 immediately. The following is general advice, not a substitute for professional help or medical advice.
Suicide is another form of murder that hurts the One who loves us deeply. 36% more people committed suicide in 2022 compared to 2000. I have worked with families where there has been a suicide, some have shared with me that even just before their loved one committed suicide, they did not see the signs. Others say they saw some but did not know what to do. Others have shared that they tried everything they knew to do, and it still happened. What has become increasingly clear to me is that you can do everything right, and your loved one still commits suicide. You can also do everything wrong, and they may choose never to commit suicide. Unfortunately, the person who commits suicide often hardens their heart to the reality of what it will mean to everyone around them if they take their life. The harder a heart is, the harder they are to influence (Hebrews 3:15).
Nevertheless, if we can detect that someone we love is showing mid to late warning signs of an imminent suicide, we may be able to attempt to help. While early signs are equally concerning, mid to late warning signs often indicate a more urgent need for intervention. These may include things such as:
Behavioral Changes
Increased Isolation: A person struggling with suicidal thoughts may withdraw significantly from friends, family, and church community. They might stop attending services or small groups they once regularly participated in.
Reckless Behavior: Engaging in risky activities without concern for personal safety can indicate a disregard for life.
Verbal Cues
Direct Statements: Expressions like “I want to die” or “I’m going to kill myself” should always be taken seriously.
Hopelessness: Frequent talk of feeling trapped or having no reason to live is a critical warning sign.
Burden to Others: Repetitive statements about being a burden or that others would be better off without them are deeply concerning.
Emotional and Physical Signs
Extreme Mood Swings: Rapid shifts between depression and euphoria can indicate instability, as can a pervasive state of being in a dark place and not trying to escape it. Instead, the person grumbles, complains, is ungrateful, doesn’t see the good, and often only believes that bad will happen.
Physical Changes: Significant alterations in sleep, appetite, or energy levels may accompany suicidal thoughts.
Overwhelming Shame or Guilt: Persistent feelings of worthlessness, especially in perceived spiritual failure, can be dangerous.
Signs that immediate intervention is needed (calling 911 or 988) include:
The person is talking about harming themselves or others
The person is planning or creating a plan to attempt suicide
The person is acting so erratically that you are concerned for his or her safety.
The person shows sudden calmness after a period of depression. This is very concerning because it can indicate that they’ve decided to end their life.
The person is giving away their prized possessions and settling their affairs by randomly creating a will.
In our blog post series, What to Do if Someone You Love is in Danger of Committing Suicide, we give tips to consider that may help.
Chew on This
What would help you not to feel responsible for another’s choice?
