Disclaimer: If you or someone you love is in imminent danger, call 911 immediately. The following is general advice and is not a substitute for professional help or medical advice.
In our last blog post, we continued our series on helping people we love who are struggling with suicidal thoughts, and specifically how to talk to them about the gospel. Today, we are going to wrap up our series with a few more thoughts on how to help.
Encourage Professional Help
If everything listed in the last blog post happened in one sitting, both you and they may need a break from the discussion. Urge your loved one to seek professional help. Encourage them to talk to their primary care provider to help eliminate potential biological causes, and to see a Christian therapist. If they don’t have a primary care provider or a therapist, you might offer to help them find one. If you have seen a therapist, and you feel open to it, you might want to briefly share the positives you gained from your time with the therapist in order to minimize the shame that a suicidal person may be feeling.
Mobilize Support
With your loved one’s permission, involve trusted family members, friends, and church leaders to create a support network. Encourage your loved one to reach out to their pastor and elders, or reach out on their behalf if they are willing. Ensure they’re not left alone during this critical time.
Point to the Hope of the Gospel
As you continue to relate to them over the next days and weeks, gently remind your loved one of God’s unfailing love and the hope found in Christ. Share scriptures that speak of God’s care for the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18) and His plans for their future (Jeremiah 29:11). You can share the hope of the gospel with him or her: Christ died to take away all our shame and sin, and we will spend eternity free from pain and suffering with God. Even if the person involved is a believer, they may have fallen into thinking that God’s promises no longer apply to them and need reorienting towards what is true. Avoiding platitudes and quick fixes, remind them of God’s boundless grace and love towards his people. Consider using our Scripture references about our identity in Christ.
Pay Attention to the Lies They Repeat and Combat with Scripture
Also pay attention to the lies they repeat. We can help our loved one reframe their thinking by 1) exposing these falsehoods, 2) asking them what it is like to believe that particular lie, 3) repeating back what you are hearing them say, 4) asking them if they want to continue to believe that lie, and 5) if they want to be free, asking them what biblical truths would combat those lies. Some common lies and Scriptures that combat them are:
“My life doesn’t matter” – Matthew 10:29-31, Ephesians 2:4-7
“I don’t have anything left to live for” – Psalm 138:7-8, Ephesians 2:10
“There is no hope for me/I am in too much pain” – Psalm 40:2, Romans 8:28, Hebrews 4:15
Practical Support
Offer tangible help with daily tasks, accompany them to appointments, or simply spend time with them. Small acts of kindness can make a significant difference. Continue to check in regularly, even as your loved one begins to improve. Recovery is often a long process, and your ongoing support is crucial.
Caring for Yourself
Caring for someone who is suicidal is taxing on every level, so make sure you are taking adequate care of yourself as well. Seek support in your local church, and talk to your pastor and/or elders about what is going on. Make sure you are getting adequate rest and nutrition, and consider seeking out a Christian therapist to help you navigate this difficult time.
Remember, you are not responsible for your loved one’s choices. By responding with Christ-like love and wisdom, you can be an instrument of God’s grace in a moment of deep despair.
As the body of Christ, let us stand firm in the face of this darkness, offering the light of hope and the assurance of God’s unfailing love to those who need it most.
Return to the second blog post in the series here. Return to the first post in the series here.
Chew On This:
If your loved one feels ashamed about getting help from a counselor or therapist, what might help lift their shame?
