As Christians, we understand that all children are born with a sinful nature, yet are fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s image. When faced with a child exhibiting destructive behaviors, our calling is to guide them towards a path of righteousness and constructive living, always remembering God’s sovereign grace in the process.
First and foremost, we must acknowledge that true heart change comes from God alone. As parents and caregivers, we are instruments in His hands, called to faithfully plant and water seeds of truth, while trusting Him for the growth (1 Corinthians 3:6-7).
Prayer and Scripture
Bathe your efforts in prayer and ground your approach in God’s Word. Regularly pray with and for your child, asking for wisdom and transformation.
Model Repentance and Grace
Demonstrate how to acknowledge wrongdoing, seek forgiveness, and extend grace. This reflects the Gospel message of redemption.
Identify Root Issues
Look beyond the behavior to understand the heart issues driving it. Address these with biblical truth and compassion.
Affirm Identity in Christ
Often, our wrong actions stem from our attempts to find our worth somewhere other than Christ, and we find security and peace when our identity is in Christ. If your child professes to be a believer, regularly remind your child of their worth in God’s eyes and their identity as His beloved child.
Establish Clear Boundaries
Set loving, firm limits for your child that reflect God’s character of justice and mercy. Consistently enforce consequences while offering forgiveness.
Allow Some Natural Consequences
Avoid “rescuing” a child from all of their poor decisions. In some cases (when a poor decision won’t hurt a child) allowing the natural consequences to run their course helps the child learn to make better choices.
Encourage Godly Influences
Surround your child with positive, Christ-centered relationships and activities that nurture spiritual growth.
Celebrate Progress
Acknowledge and praise steps in the right direction, no matter how small, reflecting God’s delight in our growth.
Proactively Prevent
If you see the precursors to negative behavior starting, redirect the child or address the issue. Try to avoid putting the child in situations where they will have more temptation to poor behavior than they can handle.
Always keep the Gospel at the forefront. Remind your child that just as Christ’s sacrifice offers us a new life, they too can experience transformation through His power. Help them understand that God’s love is not contingent on their behavior but is freely given, motivating a response of gratitude and obedience.
Remember, this shift from destructive behaviors to constructive ones is a journey. It requires patience, perseverance, and faith in God’s promises to finish the work he has started. As you guide your child, continually point them to Christ as the ultimate example of righteous living and the source of true change.
By consistently applying these principles with love and grace, you create an environment where your child can experience the transformative power of the Gospel, gradually shifting from destructive patterns to a life that glorifies God and blesses others.
Chew On This: When is your child most likely to choose a destructive path? What can you do to help him or her shift during that time?
