Counseling
“Is it really possible to tell someone else what one feels?” -Leo Tolstoy This week, a friend relayed to me some frustrations about being vulnerable. After sharing her thoughts and feelings authentically, she was caught off guard by the somewhat negative reaction of her peers. This is the funny thing about vulnerability: it doesn’t always…
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“If you do not tell the truth about yourself, you cannot tell it about other people.” -Virginia Woolf “What are you hiding?” A friend said he was asked this question recently and we began discussing its merits. If you are like me, you probably read that with an accusatory tone in it. If I were to…
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“But the Hebrew word, the word timshel – ‘Thou mayest’ – that gives a choice. It may be the most important word in the world. That says the way is open. That throws it right back on a man. For if ‘Thou mayest’ – it is also true that ‘Thou mayest not.’ -John Steinbeck I was listening to a patient*…
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“Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.”-Brené Brown I had a therapist colleague this week challenge me in a way I was not expecting. After leading a…
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I’m on vacation this week so this will be short… I like to read non-psychology related things when I have some time off. I came across this section in an essay by one of my favorite writers, Wendell Berry, about work that has really hit me hard this week: “Good human work honors God’s work.…
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“Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.” Søren Kierkegaard There’s a fantastic series on PBS called “This Emotional Life” that explores the nature of our emotions and how the brain reacts in all sorts of funny ways. When describing fear, this series talks about the function of our amygdala and its relationship with the prefrontal cortex.…
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We’ve been silent. We – as followers of Christ, as parents, as pastors and influential leaders – we’ve been silent on the topic of sex. We’ve been silent in teaching our children the purposes and beauty of sex. Silent in our personal sexual struggles. Silent in supporting singles in the Church as they navigate sexual desires.…
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“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” -Carl Jung I taught a group this week on the various roles we play in our families. We primarily discussed these roles in a dysfunctional family and how they serve to protect the family “secret” that…
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“If you can’t explain it without an explanation, you can’t understand it with an explanation.” -Haruki Murakami I’ve always been interested in improv. It’s such a fascinating construct to put people together and have them work off the natural energy and flow of conversation to create something funny. There is something special to the way improv…
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“Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.” -Thomas à Kempis I read this week how our need for control can be a response to anxiety. When anxiety floods our brains, our natural response system kicks in – do I fight?…
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