Emotional Intelligence

Words of the Heart

February 19, 2016

“Thus I spoke, more and more softly; for I was afraid of my own thoughts and the thoughts behind my thoughts.” -Friedrich Nietzsche “Are you always analyzing us now?” By the above statement, you can probably guess how excited people get when a future therapist shows up at a party. I often get asked if I’m…

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Renewal by Listening

February 12, 2016

“We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.” -Ernest Hemingway “Hey, thanks for the talk, that was really helpful.” How many times a week do you hear this from your friends? A lot? Not so often? I realized this week when a close friend said something similar that it’s not…

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If You Were Only Like Me a Little More…

February 5, 2016

“When we submit our lives to what we read in scripture, we find that we are not being led to see God in our stories but our stories in God’s. God is the larger context and plot in which our stories find themselves.” -Eugene Peterson I am an extrovert through and through. I love people,…

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The Paralytic and His Friends

January 29, 2016

“The church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints.” -Tim Keller This week a friend read a devotional in class using the story of the paralytic who was brought to Jesus through a hole in the roof by his friends. It’s a story that’s familiar to all of us and we typically derive…

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Selfish Empathy

January 22, 2016

“I do not ask the wounded person how he feels, I myself become the wounded person.” -Walt Whitman This is going to be basic. It will be a review for many of you. But for some reason, my hard heart continues to sludge through the quicksand and act as if it has never heard this…

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Working Harder Together

January 15, 2016

“It’s easier to bleed than sweat.” -Flannery O’Connor I read a great article this week about the lottery and how this record breaking amount brings out all sorts of things in people…One thing the article mentioned was how you wouldn’t want to be that guy in your office that opted out of the group pool only to seem…

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A Resolution for Community

January 8, 2016

 “Forgiveness is the name of love practiced among people who love poorly. The hard truth is that all people love poorly. We need to forgive and be forgiven every day, every hour increasingly. That is the great work of love among the fellowship of the weak that is the human family.”  -Henri Nouwen A new…

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A Light Among the Shadows

December 18, 2015

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” -Jesus (John 8:12) There is something remarkable on the outskirts of Bethlehem. Just south of the small town, known more for who was born there, stands an impressive fortress, Herodium. It’s the highest point…

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The Vulnerability of Advent

December 11, 2015

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.” -Brené Brown Whether we are aware of it or not, we all hold power in our relationships. We have the power to make someone feel something about us (even if it is negative). We have the power to…

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The Hope in Anticipation

December 4, 2015

“The idea of waiting for something makes it more exciting.” -Andy Warhol Every year, right when December 1st hits, I start to get excited. Christmas is my favorite holiday season and there is nothing better than it getting colder, days getting shorter, drinks getting warmer and the glow of lights going up in our neighborhood. Even…

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A Scattered Faith

November 20, 2015

“If thou art willing to suffer no adversity, how wilt thou be the friend of Christ?” -Thomas à Kempis I’m a planner. I like to make plans, I like when I’m in the process of fulfilling the plans, I like looking back on the plan and seeing that it was exactly what I expected. You would…

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Is Your Perception Accurate?

November 18, 2015

“We tend to perceive what we expect to perceive.” -David G. Martin In my reading this week I came across a short paragraph about pushing people toward experience. The quote above reflected one of the many ways we resist leaning into our experiences by relying more on our expectations and faulty perceptions. To prove this…

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“No man is an island…”

November 11, 2015

“You are wounded in relationships. You are healed in relationships.” -Dr. Jason Hayes My professor said this statement the other day in class as we were discussing how we experience brokenness in community. If I had it my way, community would only be about the good things: the ways I feel encouraged – the moments of fun…

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“Those who sow weeping will go out with songs of joy.”

November 6, 2015

“Although we are weeping Lord, help us keep sowing The seeds of Your Kingdom, For the day You will reap them Your sheaves we will carry, Lord, please do not tarry All those who sow weeping will go out with songs of joy.” -Psalm 126 (Molly Parden – Bifrost Arts) I am often struck by how little the heroes of our faith were…

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A Community That Challenges…and Fills.

October 30, 2015

“Many people are good at talking about what they are doing, but in fact do little. Others do a lot but don’t talk about it; they are the ones who make a community live.”  -Jean Vanier In last week’s blog I talked about the tension we all feel as we exhaust ourselves by filling our schedules, while…

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Community That Drains…or Fills?

October 23, 2015

“Community is only being created when [its members] have recognized that the greatness of man is to accept his insignificance, his human condition and his earth, and to thank God for having put in a finite body the seeds of eternity which are visible in small and daily gestures of love and forgiveness.” -Jean Vanier Have…

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“What’s your story?”

October 16, 2015

“The mystery of one man is too immense and too profound to be explained by another man.” -Henri Nouwen This past week, I’ve been thinking a lot about stories. I believe we are made for stories and we respond on a deeper level to stories than we would to straight facts and figures. The stories…

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Shouldn’t it be easier?

October 9, 2015

“Healing is impossible in loneliness; it is the opposite of loneliness. Conviviality is healing. To be healed we must come with all other creatures to the feast of Creation.” -Wendell Berry I’m reading through Acts this month. I’m always looking for new ways to refresh my views of community building and intentional living. I can’t imagine…

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Rest for the Weary

October 2, 2015

“As soon as we are alone,…inner chaos opens up in us. This chaos can be so disturbing and so confusing that we can hardly wait to get busy again…We often use the outer distractions to shield ourselves from the interior noises. This makes the discipline of solitude all the more important.” -Henri Nouwen This week if I…

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“Your pictures are crooked.”

September 25, 2015

“Criticism of others is thus an oblique form of self-commendation. We think we make the picture hang straight on our wall by telling our neighbors that all his pictures are crooked.” -Fulton J. Sheen Have you ever had one of those moments where you bomb in front of a lot of people? For some of…

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Just Bad….or Dead?

September 4, 2015

“Jesus does not offer to make bad people good but to make dead people alive.”  -Ravi Zacharias This quote was in a chapter of Ravi Zacharias’ book The Grand Weaver that I’ve been reading the past few weeks. I’ve been mulling over these words, trying to let them settle to the deeper parts of my soul (I’ve been…

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I’d rather be right…

August 28, 2015

“Our love of being right is best understood as our fear of being wrong.” -Kathryn Schulz This past week I had a really hard conversation with a close friend. It was uncomfortable, I immediately wished we were not having it, and I had to fight my tendency to back track and smooth things over. If you…

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Accountability and Shame

August 25, 2015

“Everybody is identical in their secret unspoken belief that way deep down they are different from everyone else.” David Foster Wallace “Hey, I need you to hold me accountable…” Every week in high school, a small group of guys from my church would meet in the basement of our friend’s house with our youth leader.…

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“What do you want?”

August 21, 2015

I decided to read through the book of John this month, one chapter a day until I finish it. I have done this at various times in my life and each reading through I am always struck by how new and fresh it can feel. This morning in John chapter 1 there is a great…

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