Our perceptions are often clouded by sin and human limitations, which extends to our children. When we find ourselves viewing our children primarily in a negative light, it’s crucial to recognize this as an opportunity for personal growth and spiritual renewal.
First, we must humbly acknowledge that our negative perceptions often stem from our own sinful nature. As the Apostle Paul reminds us, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23-24). This includes our tendency to focus on the negative aspects of our children’s behavior. To change our negative beliefs and perceptions of our children, we must intentionally align our thoughts with God’s truth. There are several things we can do to begin seeing our children differently:
Remember God’s Creation
Each child is fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s image (Psalm 139:14). Reflect on the unique gifts and potential God has placed within your child.
Recognize God’s Sovereignty
Trust in God’s perfect plan for your child’s life, even when it’s difficult to understand. Instead of trying to control or predict your child’s future, trust God with their future and your anxieties for them (1 Peter 5:6-8).
Embrace God’s Grace
Just as we have received unmerited favor from God, extend that same grace to your child (Ephesians 2). Realize that you are not a better person than they are, but that you are both sinners who need God’s loving grace.
Focus on Growth
Look for signs of spiritual and personal growth, no matter how small. Celebrate these as evidence of God’s work in your child’s life.
Pray for Renewed Eyes
Ask God to help you see your child as He does, with love, compassion, and hope. Instead of seeing them as your “project” or “problem”, seek to see them as a human being made in the image of God.
Meditate on Scripture
Regularly reflect on Bible passages that speak of God’s love for His children and His redemptive work in our lives.
Practice Gratitude
Intentionally thank God daily for specific positive attributes or actions of your child. If you are having trouble finding things to be grateful for, start with very small things, such as their smile.
Seek Support
Lean into the body of Christ. Connect with other Christian parents who can offer encouragement and accountability in maintaining a positive perspective.
Emphasize the Good
What we habitually think about our child shapes our view of them. Making a point to notice good things about your child, however small.
Eliminate Grumbling
When you catch yourself grumbling about your child or dwelling on negative things about them, confess this to God and ask for His help in renewing your mind.
Changing deeply ingrained beliefs is a process that requires time, patience, and reliance on the Holy Spirit. As you persistently align your thoughts with God’s truth, you’ll find your perspective gradually shifting. This renewed vision not only benefits your child but also deepens your own faith and understanding of God’s unconditional love.
Chew On This:
How has God been gracious and kind to you? How does that grace and kindness shape your view of your child?
