Teaching our children impulse control is one of the ways we can help them grow in Christlikeness. Proverbs 25:28 states, “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” By teaching your kids how to control themselves, you are helping them learn how to resist the temptation to sin, persevere when things are difficult, and make good choices. Below are some ideas to help you get started:
Set Boundaries
Set a consistent routine at home, and have consistent rules and consequences. Make sure your children understand the expectations for their behavior and consequences for wrong behavior. Make sure that both parents agree on and implement all consequences, and keep consequences consistent for each type of misbehavior to avoid confusing your child.
Teach Emotional Intelligence
Help children recognize and express their emotions appropriately. Often, children impulsively try to solve problems with sinful or inappropriate behaviors, so teach them how to respond to their emotions appropriately. For example, you might say, “I understand that you feel disappointed, but it is not ok to speak disrespectfully to mom or dad. However, you can say things like, ‘I feel sad and disappointed. Can we find something else fun to do?’”
Practice Delayed Gratification
Consider using a formal waiting period for things your child wants to do or have, or requiring your child to earn some things that they want. Start with shorter lag times, and gradually work up, using things like timers or charts to help them see their progress. You might start by saying, “You may play outside in 15 minutes, when this timer goes off” or “You need to clean your room first,, and then you may go play outside.”
Prioritize Scripture Study
Together with your child, study bible verses that discuss self control, such as 1 Corinthians 10:13, Galatians 5:22-23, James 1:19-20. Consider memorizing key verses about self control together.
Remove Impulse Triggers
As your child is learning to grow in impulse control, it may be helpful to temporarily remove things that contribute to their impulsiveness from their immediate environment. For example, if they consistently throw balls indoors despite it being against the rules, temporarily move all of the balls outdoors. As you see an increase in impulse control, you can slowly reintroduce the things that were causing the issue.
As we work to increase our children’s impulse control, it’s important to realize that it will take time and consistency to start seeing a change. By being proactive and persistent in our training, and grounding our efforts in prayer and Scripture, we can help our children develop the self-control that will serve them well in their walk with Christ and in all areas of their lives.
Chew On This:
Which of these strategies can you start implementing with your child this week?
