THE DAILY CHEW™
Chew on God’s Love. Live Transformed. Multiply Hope.
Real Life: Coffee, Core Longings, and Core Stories
Growing up in Washington Heights, it was normal to see family members fighting hard to be “somebody”—whether by making a name in the neighborhood, keeping us safe in little ways, or making sure we were never left out at a party. Even as a Christian and a leader, I catch myself still driven by these hungers: to have an impact, to feel secure, or to know that what I do matters.
But under these cravings, I’ve learned, are beliefs—stories we carry, often inherited, about how love is gained or lost, what makes us valuable, and whether we’re safe at the core.
Maybe You’ve Felt This…
Ever notice how needing approval, stability, or meaning pushes you one way…but what you actually believe about getting those needs met determines how you act, what triggers you, and even whether you feel hope or despair?
The Link: Your Drivers “Pull,” Your Beliefs “Guide”
- Core Drivers (SALVES): The deep needs in every heart—Security, Acceptance, Love, Value, Enjoyment, Significance. They’re what you want and long for.
- Core Beliefs: The “rules” or scripts you live by. They answer how (and if) your deep needs will be satisfied:
- “If I achieve, then I’m worth loving.”
- “If I mess up, I’ll be left behind.”
- “No one really sees me unless I stand out.”
- The problem is not the need itself, but the belief that defines where and how it can be met.
Why It Matters
Drivers and beliefs are like hand and glove:
- Drivers create ache and hunger.
- Beliefs explain, interpret, and filter every interaction, shaping what you chase or dodge.
For example:
- A driver for Security + belief “I can’t trust anyone to keep me safe” → Anxiety, control, isolation.
- A driver for Value + belief “If I’m not the best, I’m nothing” → Perfectionism, burnout, envy.
- A driver for Acceptance + belief “If I’m too real, I’ll be rejected” → Masking, people-pleasing, loneliness.
But Gospel-shaped beliefs change everything:
- “I am accepted in Christ, no matter what.”
- “My value is rooted in His love, not my resume.”
- “My security is unshakable, even when life feels unstable.”
Changing the Story: Why Gospel Renewal Is Key
You can’t erase your core drivers. You also can’t change by willpower alone.
But when you let the Gospel realign both your beliefs and your needs—naming both your longing and your assumptions—change isn’t just possible, it’s freeing.
Practical CHEW: Tying Drivers and Beliefs Together
- Confess: “What am I needing (SALVES)? What am I believing about how that need gets filled or denied?”
- Hear: “What does the Gospel say about this need and my assumption?”
- Exchange: “If God’s love is really meeting this need, what belief needs to be rewritten?”
- Walk: “How can I live out of a new, true story—not the old limiting one—today?”
Example:
- Driver: Acceptance (“Do I belong?”)
- Old Belief: “If I speak up, I’ll be pushed out.”
- Gospel Belief: “I am already ‘accepted in the Beloved’ (Ephesians 1:6), so I can risk being honest.”
- New Step: I share honestly in my group, even if I feel nervous.
Remember This
Lasting growth isn’t about denying deep cravings, nor letting old beliefs keep them stuck. It’s about letting God’s truth fill both:
“If I really believed God’s love is enough for [my driver], how would it change what I believe—and do?”
Go Further:
- In the next CHEW, try journaling both the need and the belief under your latest strong emotion.
- Reflect: “Are my beliefs about God or myself echoing the Gospel—or my old story?”
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Chew on God’s Love. Live Transformed. Multiply Hope.
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