As we saw yesterday, unhealthy drivenness can be a symptom of shame. Despondency can also be a symptom of shame. Instead of feeling the pressure to validate our worth through achievements, we can feel so defeated and hopeless about who we are that despondency becomes ingrained.
Ironically, we can be unhealthily driven in one area and despondent in another.
As we discussed earlier, despondency is its own form of pride: staring at yourself, nitpicking yourself, and claiming that you know better than God about yourself. Notice how, in despondency, everything revolves around you: your failures, your inadequacy, your incompetence.
If you struggle with despondency and that despondency is based on shame (rather than other reasons, like health issues or clinical depression), then healing will require you to take your eyes off of yourself and see how the Lord will sanctify you.
In other words, you must stop primarily relying on your willpower to overcome the sins that entangle you. You need to fix your eyes on Jesus (Hebrews 12:1-2). Spending more time focused on Him than on your sins leads you to see how cool He is, how great He is, how smart He is, how loving He is, how special He is, etc. The more you focus on Him, the less you will give into despondency, hopelessness, or other sins.
What helps you to focus on God?
For me, I focus on God when I listen to sermons from my pastor, Aaron Messner, or old Tim Keller sermons from when I attended Redeemer Presbyterian Church of New York City in the late 1900’s. When I listen to sermons taught by incredible pastors, I feel drawn to God.
At other times, listening to Christian comedians helps me focus on God. Some are funny and will say things that draw me to God. Likewise, I might watch a movie that reminds me of the Gospel. (For example, I see the Gospel all over the place in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy.)
I also “practice the presence of Christ.” This is when I mentally place Christ in the room where I am and imagine Him following me throughout the day. That helps me remember that if He is with me, there isn’t room for despondency. For more on practicing the presence, you can read here.
Whatever works for you, try to fill your day with those things. You will know that there is a genuine connection to Him when you find yourself praising and thanking God more.
I hope this series helped you gain hope, both that you can live from your true identity and that you can have victories over shame and its byproducts.
Once again, please remember that this transformation is a process! When we fall, we can always learn from our times of failure and implement strategies that can help us be more consistent. What’s more important is to not give up on the process, but instead to trust in God’s sovereign work in sanctifying you and bringing you to completion.
To read more on what Scripture says about this, see Hebrews 12:1-2, Psalm 42:11, and Ecclesiastes 4:12.
Prayer: Father, please help me to focus on You more than I focus on myself. Help me put more trust in Your ability to sanctify me than in my ability to sanctify myself. Help me study You, be captivated by You, and be the branch connected to the Vine so that You flow through me.
Chew On This:
- What will you do today to focus on God more than anything you struggle with?
To go back to part 9 of our Shame and Identity series, click here.
