Should I Go to College?

To college or not to college? That is the question.

Maybe you’ve struggled to make good grades in middle and high school. Maybe the career path you want to pursue emphasizes real work experience over a degree. Maybe you simply see college as a waste of time and money.

How can you tell what is the right thing to do?

Obviously, everyone is different. You have individual gifts and experiences; your dreams (or your lack of dreams!) are unique. While you likely have been given a wealth of advice, this decision is ultimately yours to make.

I want to provide 3 questions to help you process through this decision. But I also first want to acknowledge that there is real weight in your situation; this may be one of the first independent, life-impacting decisions you have made in your life. As you’re processing, you can always rest in the truth that you will continue to grow, no matter what you decide. Choosing to go to college or choosing not to go to college – both of those are reversible decisions. Just as you’ve made it this far, you will continue to become a better person through your life experiences.

Take your time in processing. Enjoy and really dream about your future.

Hopefully, these questions will help!

Are you thinking about going to college because you don’t know what else to do?

Alternatives to not going to college typically include doing nothing or starting a part-time job nearby. In light of those options, college can seem pretty ideal, especially if most of your friends are going too.

But there are clear downsides associated with going to college simply because you don’t know what else to do. Your investment of time and dollars may result in an unhelpful degree that fails to serve you. Again, that’s a recoverable mistake, and not a future to be feared. But I also fully believe you can make significant headway in discovering your calling before you apply to college.

To get started…

• Ask your relatives, mentors, or teachers to introduce you to employees who have jobs they think you might like. Try to get coffee or lunch with those employees and hear about their current and past work experiences.  You might be interested in a job that you never knew existed.
• Long before I became a coach, I was obsessed with personality types; I had no idea that I could get paid to learn about and work with personality assessments until I was introduced to someone who did.
• Once you’re introduced, make sure to make the most of your time by asking questions like:

• Why do you like this role?
• What do you dislike about this role?
• What skills do you think you need to be successful in this job?
• What kind of experience or degree do you need for this job?

At the end of the meeting, remember to say thank you! Delivering hand-written thank-you notes a few days later always leaves a great impression and will ensure you have more professional friends supporting you in your journey.

• Get involved in serving! Find a cause that inspires and challenges you and get involved however you can. Consider homeless shelters, tutoring centers, animal rescues, or city-gardening efforts. As you serve, pay specific attention to themes like:
  • Do you work well with teams or alone?
  • Do you like talking to “customers”?
  • Do you gravitate more towards administrative work or hands-on work?
  • What do you notice yourself doing naturally while volunteering? Are you looking for problems to solve? Are you finding ways to support people from the background? Are you standing back and admiring the organization as a whole? Are you trying to have as much fun as possible?

All of these will give hints into the kind of work you may prefer. Once you’ve made a few self-observations, meet with your advisor or parents and ask for advice on which college degrees match your typical perspectives and behaviors.

• If you’re pressed for time, remember that, for most colleges, you can go in as an “undeclared” major and quickly get involved in clubs and organizations that interest you. Through interactions with others and core classes, you might find some paths that interest you!

Are you thinking about going to college because your family, teachers, mentors, or friends said you should?

Adults tend to assume attending college is a must. Ever since you were a little kid, you have probably been encouraged to study hard to get good grades, which will help you get into a good college, which will then help you get a good job. And, in general, that logical progression holds true.

But unfortunately, going to college just because adults said so will typically lead to the same pitfalls as going to college because you don’t know what else to do. At the end of the day, you’re investing time and money into a tool that may never serve you or your dreams.

Let’s take a step back.

Typically, at the crux of going to college for others is actually the fear of disappointing or upsetting those people closest to you. You want to make them proud; you want to make them happy by doing what they think is best. If you absolutely hate conflict and letting people down like I do, choosing to go your own path (and upsetting others in the process!) can seem impossible.

If this is you, one thing to remember is that, while you may make the people around you happy momentarily, their happiness (stemmed in your unhappiness) is ultimately unsustainable. Instead of simply acquiescing, search for ways to speak out your opinion in a gentle and compromising way that will lead to lasting contentment for you and those you love:

• Answer the following prompt to discover and cement your true feelings. In the ideal world, if you could snap your fingers and do exactly what you wanted (and everyone would be happy with it!), what would your future be? In this prompt, you can do anything: go to Mars, eat ice cream bars for a living, or be a zoologist. Money is not a constraint either. The only rule is that you have to eliminate “should’s.” (For example, “I should be a lawyer.”) When you’re done, find a few trusted advisors to share the writing with and get their opinions. What do they notice? What could prevent your dream from becoming reality? What “should’s” were persistent? Why did you feel those “should’s?” Seek to really distinguish between what you’ve been told and what you really want.
• Why do your parents, mentors, teachers, or friends want you to go to college? Maybe they want to ensure you have financial security, or maybe they want you to go out and explore more.  Typically, most reasons will have alternative solutions. If your parents want you to have financial security, you can pursue a part-time internship coming out of high school in a field that interests you. If your teachers want you to explore more, suggest traveling for a few months instead. Again, look for those win-win solutions.

Are you thinking about going to college for the money?

College Board recently came out with a study entitled: “Education Pays.” Part of the study shows that, in 2018, full-time college graduates made an average of $24,900 more than full-time high school graduates.

That’s a huge difference! An extra $24,900 every year could open you up to so many new possibilities.

By definition, money in the United States is a tool, rather than an end in and of itself. (After all, a dollar itself is simply a scrap of paper.) If you want to go to college for the money, take a second to consider why you want money. How will money serve you?

• Maybe you want money to buy your own apartment, car, and groceries. “If I have money, I can live on my own, without anyone telling me what to do every day.” In other words, you want money to provide independence and self-sufficiency.
• Maybe you want to buy the latest phone model, or the spiciest fashion picks. “If I have enough money, I can really treat myself and elevate myself to a new level. I can live a fun and exciting life.” In other words, you want money to provide respect and influence.
• Maybe you simply want to stop worrying about your next meal. “If I have money, Mom can stop working the extra night shift to pay for my lunches. I can finally treat my little siblings to ice cream or an amusement park.” In other words, you want money to provide security.

Whatever your reason, money can absolutely help you get there. If you invest in college to get a high-paying job, keep your true goal in mind through the process and align your academic pursuits with your financial pursuits. For example…

• If you want independence and self-sufficiency, practice taking on additional responsibilities, like doing your own laundry and hunting for scholarships.
• If you want respect and influence, check out a few self-development books from the library and focus on making yourself into a person who is inherently respectful, integrous, and uplifting.
• If you want security, try meditation, stretching, or affirmations to bring a sense of peace and wellness that transcends your circumstances.

By focusing on what money will buy you more than on money itself, you can find ways to achieve your goals, regardless of whether or not you go to college and regardless of whether or not you have money.

Hopefully all of this gives you a starting place to process through your college decision. If you have any questions or get stuck, please email me at megan@1stprinciplegroup.com! I would love to answer any specific questions you might have. Best of luck!

Megan Koh is a Career Development Coach, with over 7 years of experience in helping others find and achieve their dream jobs.  She lives south of Atlanta and is engaged to her sweetheart Danny.